Drawing Blood

I spent every day I could getting myself ready for the upcoming hunting season. I shot my bow as much as possible and only work and inclement weather kept me from shooting it daily. I felt very comfortable that I could make a clean and ethical shot within 25 yards…whether or not I could actually release an arrow on a deer I had not determined yet.

I switched my focus from shooting my bow to scouting for good ambush places to hunt. I was (am) very lucky in that I have some very good friends that allow me to hunt their properties. One of the main issues confronting hunting is a lack of available hunting areas and the public areas get hammered relentlessly during the season. I had my choice of three farms to hunt and we scouted all of them extensively. All three showed good promise but I especially liked a farm in Southampton County that was growing soybeans and bordered by a swamp. We set up two stands in another farm that has always had a high number of deer in it even though I personally didn’t like it as much (and still don’t). I didn’t have the experience of my friends when it came to where to hunt so I deferred to their knowledge.

As opening day was approaching I realized that my primary hunting partner was going to be away so I was going to be by myself. As it turned out, I didn’t have to worry about opening day at all because a nasty weather system moved in and I would have been “seasick” if I had tried to ride out the storm in a tree stand. My next attempt of hunting took place at my friend’s farm where I chose to hunt from the ground in some high weeds. I was on pins and needles as I hoped that a deer would pass by but I still didn’t know what I would do if it came. I sat until dark and never saw anything other than the mosquitoes that hovered annoyingly around me.

My next attempt at hunting took place at the farm that we hung the tree stands at and once again it was non-eventful. I did hear what I believe was a deer moving through the woods but as soon as the sound got downwind of me I heard it react and go crashing through the woods…this deer hunting stuff was going to be more difficult than I thought!

My best friend and I changed tactics and decided to check out the original farm that I liked so much…everywhere we looked there was deer sign! We even saw a nice buck during the middle of the day when we were scouting in a light rain. We hung one stand and I went out and bought a tree stand of my own to hang at a later date.

I hunted a couple of more times in two other farms and I had only seen deer twice and they were far out of range. I was beginning to get discouraged, I honestly thought that I would be seeing deer on every hunt…I never realized the time I was going to have to spend in the woods without success. I did enjoy myself though, I saw all sorts of other wildlife from my elevated hunting platform…tree frogs moving from leaf to leaf, squirrels scampering about, songbirds trying to figure out what exactly I was, gray fox adeptly moving through the underbrush barely making a sound. It was all very different from any other time I was in the woods; I was now part of nature! I was an apex predator seeking my prey. Every sense I had was heighten to a level that I cannot convey to you unless you’ve been there and experienced it for yourself.

My hunting time was becoming limited as I was about to move out of the area to start my new career so on a very hot day that normally I wouldn’t have hunted on, I headed out to my favorite farm. My best friend joined me and he hunted clear over on the other side of the farm and I carried my new tree stand over to a corner of the field and set up quickly. As the day started to fade I looked up to see five does that popped out in the field in front of me…I was shocked! All of a sudden something gripped me and my bow rose…the predator within me took over. My eyes narrowed as I focused on the lead doe which was much bigger than the other four. I believe that she was the “nanny”, the next two does were probably her daughters from the previous year and they each had a fawn of their own. As I started to draw my bow the lead doe looked in my direction and I froze in place; muscles agonizing as I had to hold the full weight of my bow because I had not reached the break-over point. The doe looked away and I quickly came to full draw…I would love to tell you that everything went perfect but that would be a lie. I can only surmise to what happened because it was all a blur to me. I remember putting a sight pin on the vitals but I don’t remember which one it was or releasing the arrow. All of sudden four deer went running to my left and one went to my right…about half a minute later the other four went running in front of me as they went towards where the lead doe had gone. I thought I heard some thrashing around but I just wasn’t sure whether it was the deer I shot at or all of the deer scampering through the woods.

I settled down and tried to regain my composure and wondered whether or not I had even hit the deer. While I was waiting I heard something coming through the woods and I looked to my left and saw I doe coming up a trail with a piebald fawn following. I quickly nocked another arrow but the doe was hidden behind a bush but I had a pretty open shot at the fawn at 15 yards. I came to full draw, centered my sight on the fawn’s vitals, and released the arrow. The arrow flew true until it hit a small, half inch branch that I neglected to see and it deflected it up and over the fawn! Both deer bolted for the field but within a couple of minutes the doe was back trying to figure out what made the noise. By now I was pretty rattled at the afternoon’s events but I nocked yet another arrow and proceeded to send it over the back of the doe. As the doe and fawn ran off I sat there thinking that I blew it again…three shots and three misses. I climbed down and started to search for my arrows but I couldn’t find the one that deflected after hitting the branch or the first one I had released. I walked back to my car to meet my best friend and discuss the evening. I told him that I shot three times and I knew that I missed twice but I really wasn’t sure about the first shot so we went back to my stand. I climbed up the tree to my stand and directed him to where the deer was standing and he found my arrow…covered in blood! I climbed down and paced off to where the explosion marks were from the deer’s hooves and I’m embarrassed to say how far away it was. We followed the tracks but we couldn’t find a drop of blood anywhere. We scanned the edge of the field and as my flashlight passed by I saw the eyes reflecting back at me just inside the tree line! THERE SHE WAS!!! We went over to the deer and I couldn’t believe my eyes, what a magnificent creature she was! I put my hands on here and there was such mixed emotions within me…elation and sorrow at the same time. I had tears in my eyes yet I still don’t know exactly why. I asked my friend to extinguish his flashlight because I needed a little “quiet time” to reflect on the gravity of what I had done. I sat in silence in the darkness with my hand stroking the fur of the doe for about 10 minutes as I silently thanked the creator for such a gift. I let an arrow loose on a deer 52 yards away…I did everything WRONG!!! I was very lucky and my shot ended up clipping the femoral artery and she didn’t travel 60 yards after getting hit. All I can say is that somehow I believe that this deer was meant for me in some strange way and I vowed right there to never let an arrow loose unless I was positive that I could make a clean, ethical shot.

My best friend offered to field dress the deer for me but I had taken that life and it was my responsibility to see that the precious meat was taken care of properly. I had cleaned thousands of fish in my life but this was far different than anything I had ever done and I was somewhat apprehensive about it. My first shock came when I opened the body cavity and my hands went inside of a warm body. I know it must sound stupid but after so many years of cleaning fish I just wasn’t expecting it. I was talked through the process and I was in awe as I held her heart in my hands; what a powerful experience. We brought the deer home and cut out the tenderloins to have for breakfast and iced her down so we could process her the following day. My breakfast the following morning was the best meal I have ever had! The following day I was shown how to properly process the meat and every meal that I made from it (or any other deer) I thank the deer for giving itself to me so I may be nourished.

I had two other deer that came into range during that hunting season…one never provided me an ethical shot and the other was a six point buck that had some extenuating circumstances. Virginia allows hunting with dogs during general firearm season (which I will certainly cover in more depth in future entries) and the dog hunters will allow their dogs out to chase deer out of season to get exercise…this buck was being chased by dogs and I heard it running towards me with the dogs in tow. I came to full draw and yelled when it was 20 yards away. The buck stopped perfectly to see what had made the sound and my sight was anchored on the vitals…it didn’t feel right, that buck would not have been there if it wasn’t for the dogs and I couldn’t bring myself to let an arrow fly. I let down and the buck continued on its way.

Next week: Season of disappointment

Highly recommended reading: Coyote Soul, Raven Heart: Meditations Of A Hunter-Wanderer by Reg Darling (Note - If you are enjoying my blog you will love this book, it is everything that I hoped that this blog would be and so much more. I just recently purchased the book and I was moved by the content.)

A Stick and a String

Now that I decided that I was going attempt bowhunting I needed to purchase a bow (duh!), unfortunately it can never be that easy. I had to decide whether I wanted to go the modern route with a compound bow or the traditional route with a longbow or recurve bow. Furthermore, when selecting a bow you need to worry about things such as poundage, draw lengths, and feel…all of which I knew nothing about! It was time to enlist the aid of my bowhunting friends to get me set up correctly.

My best friend had an old compound bow that I was welcome to use if I wanted to but I wanted something that was all of my own. He prefers the more traditional, minimalistic bow and hunts with a custom made recurve bow. A recurve bow in its simplest design is just a stick and a string. The arrow is rests on a “shelf” and not an arrow rest. The hunter (or archer) must canter the bow slightly to ensure the arrow doesn’t fall off the shelf. When the hunter draws the bowstring back, the full weight of the limbs is being held. The only additional items that you will usually find on this type of bow are string silencers which deaden the vibration from releasing the string and make the bow quieter. Unlike a gun, an arrow travels much slower than the speed of sound so bowhunters are anal in their attempt to make their bows as quiet as possible. You wouldn’t think that a deer would be able to move fast enough to avoid a speeding arrow but they can and will!

Selecting a traditional bow would have caused me to go through hours upon hours of practice to get the feel of releasing the arrow properly and “willing” it to the target. Traditional archery tackle is an art form all to itself and the best archers are incredible when it comes to how accurate they are. A very good representation of the mental and physical attributes that a traditional archer goes through is represented by Nicolas Cage in The Weatherman. As someone that was very unsure of whether or not I could actually release an arrow on a live animal or not I decided to go with a compound bow.

A compound bow is the modern day version of the bow and it is worlds apart from a traditional bow. When comparing the two it is like a Ferrari compared to a Model “T”. The biggest difference a non-archer will notice is the addition of cams and pulleys. The addition of these allows for two things, a much faster arrow flight and a weight let off for the archer pulling the string…I better explain. With a traditional bow the archer needs to hold the full weight of the string as they increase the tension from drawing the string back. With a compound bow, the archer initially has the full weight of the string until it gets to a break over point and the tension to the archer is reduced significantly. The bow that I own is set up for a 60 pound draw but there is a 75% let off when I get to the break over point so while I’m at full draw I only have to hold 15 pounds back. It is much easier for a compound shooter to hold the bow at full draw and steady their self before releasing the arrow. Compound bows also usually are equipped with a sight that allows the archer to dial in where to aim for certain ranges. They usually have a specialized arrow rest to hold the arrow as freely as possible as well. Compound bows are constantly being “improved” by manufactures trying to create the fastest arrow flight available and the quietest as well. The funny thing about this is that the arrow is never going to fly as fast as a bullet so there will always be game that is missed due to an animal “jumping the string” (hearing the arrow released and reacting before the arrow hits them).

I chose to go with a compound bow simply because I knew that I could gain confidence quicker with a bow that had a sight than to have to rely on muscle memory. I went shopping with a close friend who is an excellent bowhunter and he helped me find the correct bow for myself. I selected a Reflex Buckskin (see picture above) set up for a 60 pound draw and a 29” draw length (how far you pull the string back). I had all of the bells and whistles attached to the bow and I left the store extremely happy. Now, I do need to interject something here…there are two different types of people in this world, big picture or concept driven people (like myself) and then there are the detail oriented folks. Let me just say that I am very glad I have some very close friends who are the latter because when it comes to setting up your bow, the detail oriented folks are masters at dialing everything in to function perfectly! Me on the other hand, I’d get fed up quickly and throw the bow in the corner! I have a file with every little setting for my bow (thanks Glenn) so it can be reset if anything ever goes wrong.

I brought the bow back and immediately started to practice with it and I quickly became proficient out to 30 yards. Every day that it wasn’t raining I would step outside and shoot at least a dozen arrows to keep my skill up and to make the bow feel as though it was just an extension of my body. I found that I quickly grew bored of taking aim at a static target until I was shown a “game” to help practice aim and judge distance in the field…”stump shooting”. I would go out on a trail with three friends and someone would pick out a target to aim at. Our arrows were tipped with a special type of head called a judo point that had metal prongs to keep the arrow from burying into the soil or wood. We each would take aim at the target and one by one we would shoot at it. If someone hit the target then that person would chose the next target. It was great practice because we would have to estimate the distance in real life scenarios (over hanging limbs, wind, shadows, etc…) and make compensations for it. I LOVED IT!!! It was the best way to expand my focus on putting an arrow exactly where I wanted to and the camaraderie of practicing with friends in the woods was second to none. As the year went on I found myself increasingly ready to attempt bowhunting but I was still unsure of whether or not I could let an arrow loose on an actual animal.

Next week: Drawing Blood

Factoid: Do you know the difference between an archer and a bowhunter? An archer wants to see how far away they can get away from a target and still hit it…a bowhunter wants to see how close he can get to the target and make a clean, ethical kill.

Endings and Beginnings

After five years of sea duty I was looking forward to spending time at home and increased time out in nature. All the problems I initially had with my wife seemed minor after so much time underway…absence makes the heart grow fonder is a very true statement. It didn’t take long for that phase to move on and we were back to not knowing what to do with each other. Once again I threw myself into my favorite sport of competitive bass fishing. I bought a bigger and better boat to fully suit my needs for the tournaments in which I competed.

Most of my friends that fished tournaments with me were hunters as well and they tried to tempt me into becoming a hunter too. I must admit that do to my recent experience at Tom Brown’s school, I was very intrigued. My wife had a hard enough time with my fishing obsession and I knew she would never support me hunting. She loved animals and understood hunting however she would never accept her husband partaking in it. As miserable as I was in the relationship I still tried to avoid pushing the envelope on controversial issues so out of respect for my wife, I declined every opportunity that I had to hunt.

My best friend Curt started to feed us venison when we came over for dinners. I had never had truly wild game, all of the “wild game” I had tried in restaurants was actually farmed…glorified cows for lack of a better way of describing it. I’m pretty adventurous when it comes to eating but I was actually slightly nervous about eating it; all I ever heard about true wild game was that it was gamey tasting (whatever that means). Curt happens to be an excellent cook and the meals he served could be described in one word…DELICIOUS! The problem with finding out that you like venison is that there is only one way to procure it and I wasn’t prepared to take that step.

Things with my wife continued to take a downward spiral; I was spending as much time as I could away from the house to find some sort of happiness that I wasn’t receiving at home. The bad thing was that my happiness was only temporary in nature because all of the bills from fishing were stacking up. I would enjoy my time out on the water but the minute I returned I would be thrust back into a reality of mounting debt and a failing relationship. Things really started to unwind for me after our best friends had their first child…I always wanted children but my wife was dead set against it. I always thought that she would change her mind but I was coming to the realization that she wasn’t going to.

My career in the Navy was quickly coming to a close and I was extremely fortunate to spend my final three years at the same command I had spent the previous three at. I started to look at what I was going to do after the Navy and I honestly didn’t have a clue. I loved teaching and I figured that I could change hats and become a civilian contractor and basically do the same job. I believe that the realization of my impending retirement and potential loss of income scared my wife every bit as much as it scared me…I say “believe” because it isn’t something that we discussed because we never discussed anything anymore.

The year of 2005 will forever go down as the most emotionally difficult year in my life. It started with my mother passing away suddenly in January. She had been having health issues and finally went in the hospital for exploratory surgery. A 45 minute procedure turned into four hours and later that evening we found out that she was dealing with terminal cancer. One week after being diagnosed she passed away three days shy of her 57’Th birthday from a pulmonary embolism. More tragedy struck my family when three months later my grandmother also passed away. I was wrecked emotionally and spent even more time on the water trying to bury my pain because I really wasn’t getting the emotional support I desperately needed and wanted at home.

The summer of 2005 will probably go down is my loneliest ever…living in house with someone that you are incapable of relating to anymore is maddening. I also was still reeling from the loss of my family members and feeling resentful towards my wife for her not being able to give me the emotional support I needed. The silence in our house was definitely deafening and we both lived separate lives under the same roof. For the first time in my life I found myself trying to pick a fight with her just to get some sort of response...any response! It never worked though and we continued to live in a vacuum.

In the beginning of September I had enough and I decided that we needed help to save our marriage. I picked an evening to have this conversation and prepared myself emotionally for what I expected to be the most difficult discussion in my life. I waited for her to return from work and when she did, she walked over to me and handed me a letter. Apparently my wife had enough as well and instead of trying to fix what was broken she decided it was time to desert a sinking ship. With all that had happened to me in the year I was hardly prepared to read that and as bad as things were, I had never had considered divorce…some things however are not what we get to choose.

I had hit rock bottom in my life and I really didn’t know which way to turn. I knew I had to find something positive to turn to and start crawling my way back out of this hole. After being separated for a couple of months I realized that we would not be getting back together and my path forward had to be my own. I started to think about the different things that I had wanted to do but I didn’t because of my marriage such as hunting and realized that I now had a second chance to experience these things. My best friends bow hunted and that intrigued me to no end…you had to be very close to the deer and very stealthy with all of your moves. I started to think about it more and more and went through a lengthy internal debate over whether or not I could actually do it or not…after going back and forth on this issue I finally made up my mind and called my friends. It was time for me to purchase a bow!

Next week: A Stick and a String

Recommended listening: Fred Bear by Ted Nugent